if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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