Your mouth is God's brothel.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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