Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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