that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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