I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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