I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
