My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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