Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
