Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
