Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
