oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
