i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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