I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
