mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
