its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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