I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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