I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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