Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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