these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
