Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize