I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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