Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
