She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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