Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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