I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
