Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize