Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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