I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
