I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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