You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
