I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
