She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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