tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
