I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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