What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
