I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
