I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
