And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Small penises have feelings too.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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