Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize