So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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