Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
