What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize