at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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