At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have tasted many bathrooms
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
