My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
