U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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