You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
