Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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