You made me cry and you don't even care
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
