Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
