I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
