Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
