shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
