Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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