I wish life had little blips of pornography
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
