Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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