Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
