this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
