Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
