ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
