when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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