i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
