if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
