White coat. Heels.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
