I wanna passion pit in your ass
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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