i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
