Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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