shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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