When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
