bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
