My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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