Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
