my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
