Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
